Writing motivation?

I’ve been on holiday.

I needed it.

Regular readers will have noticed that my last few posts were edging more towards dour than realistic and I think I was moving ever closer to burning myself uut, trying to write against the adversity of an increasingly wary and ‘safe’ publishing industry. But a villa in Menorca with a pool and sea view seems to have cleared a few things up in my mind - not to mention the fact that the island may have a shortage of sangria, now. Oops.

I took my notebook and pen with me so that I could sketch some ideas or plot out some stories while I was away but that stayed in my bag until the flight home. Maybe not writing was the motivation I needed to get my arse back in the chair and stop fucking moaning. Who knows?

What I do know is that I was not motivated by some of the apparently inspirational notes I saw on Substack. Especially one that was hand-written on a post-it note (or something cute like a napkin) that read, ‘Write like it means something and then it will.’

I can’t remember if those were the exact words but the message is there. I wanted to comment but I bit my tongue. Maybe that kind of shit works for some people. Maybe those dumb platitudes that are deliberately designed to get a thumbs-up have their place in a world where positive sentiments are few and far between. Who am I to shit on that with reality?

Besides, don’t I want people to write things that actually mean something? It’s what I bleat on about most of the time.

In short, my sangria-drenched week of lying in the shade with a book seems to have brought me back to a place where I feel like I can go at it again. I can chase the things I want. I can write until the wheels fall off. (It’s my favourite state.)

It has also probably helped that I had some good news from my agent, but, like all news in this industry, I can’t really say anything about it just yet……

So, there are around four months left in the year. That doesn’t sound long but, for me, it’s long enough to write a new book. So that’s what I am doing. At the moment, it is called UNTITLED SUMMER PROJECT. Catchy, huh? It’s another small-town America story that ties true crime and folklore together. I can see the entire thing ahead of me. I’ve written the opening and I know how it ends. I just need to fill in the middle. (About 80k words.)

I also want to continue with HELL-A, my LA-set PI novel/novella. I love writing in this style - very different for me - so I think that I can do 500 words a day on that until the end of the year and see what I’ve got. (My agent thinks that nobody wants this kind of story, so I may post it chapter by chapter on here for paid subscribers.)

Oh, and then there’s this thing that I was contacted about - I have a meeting on Thursday. Eek! This will take priority over everything else, but if I can get it done in the next eight weeks, it could really make a difference.

I know, it sounds like I’m trying to write three books in the next four months. Maybe I am, I don’t know. But I do know that I want to try. I want to write and write and write. I want to get to December and need a holiday, but I think I need to earn the right to feel that way. (I can’t afford a holiday in December, but I can afford to need one.)

Charles Bukowski was motivated by fear. Michael Jordan was motivated by winning. And some people are going to be motivated by cutesy instagram posts that are so sickly, Hallmark would reject them for a mother’s day card. I’m motivated by the work. The words. The writing itself. The creation of something that doesn’t exist until I make it that way. Sure, and maybe a little fear, too.

But motivation a tiny a part of the process. Wherever you get it, whoever has pepped you up, whatever team talk has lit a match beneath you or whatever words have ignited your spirit, it’s now down to you to do that work.

That’s where I am now. CREATION MODE. And I fucking love it.

So expect to see me more regularly on here. And I will be less of a miserable sack of shit. Hell, maybe I’ll even become motivational, who knows? I tried to write this like it means something, so maybe that means it will…